Gauteng Metro Madness

Gauteng Metro policeman pulled Sipho's car over and told him that because he had been wearing his seat belt he had just won R5 000, in an Arrive Alive safety competition.

Sipho could hardly believe his luck.

'What are you going to do with your cash?' asked the traffic cop.'
Well I guess I'm going to get a drivers license,' Sipho answered.
'Oh, don't listen to him,' yelled Dipuo in the passenger seat. 'He tries to be smart when he's drunk.
This woke up Rodger in the back seat who took one look at the cop and moaned, 'I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car.
At that moment there was a knock from the boot and Zakes' voice said, 'Are we over the border yet?'

The cop fainted.

Xmas Skinner

Die lewe is 'n Kaaskrul

Message from the Department of Transport

They say that 20% of all accidents are caused by drunken drivers.... So 80% involve sober drivers.

Can sober drivers please get off the road so that the drinkers can get home safely!!

Vernon Koekemoer ...the saga continues

and my current favourite ...

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives/Girlfriends

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:

The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

A dog's parents never visit.

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

.....or they are just GAY and loves animals :)

6 Degrees of Blonde

FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a momentand said 'How should I know,that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up. The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife said, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'
,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact onthe sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second blondesays, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde hands her the compact.The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!
,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,. -:*´`´*:-.,
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds himin the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun,and as she does so, she is overcome with grief...she takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!! 'The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!
.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.S he proudly says, 'Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them.'A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.
,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? 'Is it mine?
,..-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,
SIXTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarised. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman.'

Aerial Landscapes

National Geographic really do an excellent job in capturing the essence of nature, and beauty. These Aerial Pics are no exception. Click on the title to see more.

Wilpena Pound
Wells Nichols

Bora Bora

Adrar Madet Massif

I WANT ONE!!! ASUS U6V-B1-Bamboo 12.1-Inch Laptop

OOoohhh WOW - this is stunning - would love to have one (wink wink all friends and family members reading this LOL)

Product Description: ASUS U6V-B1 (bamboo) notebook is made of Eco-friendly material on LCD cover and palm rest part; Ultra Thin and light notebook with LED backlight; Centrino 2.
Full solution: performance: graphics power: NV9300 GS 256MB VRAM; connectivity and security: fingerprint reader, bluetooth, e-SATA, TPM; Entertainment: HDMI port, 0.3M pixel web cam. ASUS SmartLogon intelligently recognizes its rightful owner and grants access with positive facial scan. ASUS U6 notebook series is the fabulous jewel to light up any computing experience with extra sparkle that will sure to captivate all eyes.

The 12.1-inch wide U6 is the luxurious digital fashion for on the go metropolitan. The beauty of the U6 is complimented with its simple and clean lines. The contour gives the notebook as structured appearance with sturdiness. The leather bound palm rest adds yet another dimension to the U6 design with a softness that personalizes the tactile computing experience. The leather further extends down the front edge of the notebook furthering the comfort zone beyond limit. From afar, the U6V´ mocha sheen gives off a fashionesque effect that compliments any sophisticated metropolitan.

The high-shine cover, Voile, made by a 13-step process shines with underlying shimmering fibers gets its name from the equally delicate luminous fabric. The U6 screen adopts a special LED backlight panel that is half the width of and 1/3 lighter than the traditional LCD panel.

The bad news is ....Amazon is out of Stock LOL

Escape ESC !!!

Click on the title to see that this is the follow up to when you loose CONTROL

The Threesome

I was one of the millions of people around the world who could see the close three-way conjunction of Venus, Jupiter and the crescent moon (this after a friend SMSed me to run outside and go check it out).

The brightest of the two planets, Venus, is set to remain high in the southwest all throughout this month, while Jupiter will be descending the western skies.

Venus is usually visible during dusk or dawn, hence its popular name as the Evening Star or the Morning Star.

The moon, Jupiter and Venus come together from time to time, but often they are too close to the Sun or unite at a time when they are not so visible. Apparently the next time this phenomenon will happen is 18 November 2052 (What !! I will be 74 at that stage lol)

They might look close together, but in reality both planets are separated by over 800 million kilometres.

We live in interesting times ...

Rude Santa