SABC TV

Maria - thanks for your input :)

Kalahari Digkuns

Dankie vir die een Karla :)

Planning on pranking your friend?!...

He he he ... Ouch ...!!

How do I know if he is Gay ...

I am sure if you ask any gay man how many times he has been asked by his girlfriends if he thinks her boyfriend or husband (or a potential guy she is eyeing) is gay …he will not be able to give you an accurate figure …because you just stop counting after 50. I get asked that exact question at least once a month.

It is a known reality that included in all gay men’s DNA is the illustrious ‘Gaydar’ (which is the intuitive ability to assess someone’s sexual orientation as either straight or gay). Although we all have it …it takes years to fine tune and perfect. I don’t just want to give advice on the signs indicating if your hubby is gay or not, but also crush all those annoying, obtuse and monotonous myths that pollute reality.

(For the purposes of easy reading I have chosen the word ‘hubby’ that will include boyfriend, fiancé, husband or any potential guy you’re planning to date…even if he does not know your name as yet).

* MYTHS that he is Gay
* SIGNS that he is Gay

MYTHS that he is Gay…

How do I know if he is Gay continues…

I re-assessed all the things that use to brand men as Gay (and with closer inspection realised most of them originated in the 80's or 90's and has not evolved with the times)...

Grooming, Products and Rituals: Long gone are the days where men got branded gay for having grooming rituals or using grooming and beauty products. Girls take my advice and encourage this Metrosexual behaviour …just remember that in 30 year’s time, depending on how he looked after himself, you are either going to stare at a mature, good looking guy …or a dried out Sebastian-The Prawn-Look-A-Like.

Style and Fashion: If your hubby have a sense of style, knows how to dress and what’s in fashion, don’t brand him gay – but rather thank your lucky stars that you don’t have to add that to your daily “To-Do-List”.

Gay Friends: If he has gay friends you can let out a sigh of relieve because that indicates how comfortable he is with his own sexuality and does not feel the need to prove himself to anyone. He is a definite keeper.

Gay Clubs: Just because he does not mind going to gay clubs, does not influence his ‘straighness’. We all know gay clubs are much more fun (and you don’t have to deal with testosterone induced bar fights …bonus).

‘Nice Guy’: Now ladies…this one baffles me a bit. Thinking that your hubby is gay just because he is an over all ‘nice guy’ is ludicrous. Isn’t that what you were looking for?

Shoe Compliments: No wonder guys are confused. They get told to compliment, compliment and compliment …by everyone from their buddies to the Men’s magazines they read. Complimenting your shoes does not make him gay …rather be happy that he is noticing the finer detail. Is that not why you spend half your salary on shoes? So he does not say “Sexy legs…you really make me horny …I wanna jump you right here...” – because that would be distasteful (and women will just role their eyes and think “OMG he is just interested in sex again!!”). So instead he just states: “Nice shoes”.

Car Knowledge: Not all men find the inside of a car’s engine exciting …nor stimulating conversation. Let’s just leave it at that.

Cooking: Most of the world’s best chefs are men (and most of them are straight). So let him whisk up meal let him …be sure to reward him with some dessert….

Oprah: This is a tough one…but being I have changed my views on guys that watch Oprah. Your hubby can actually learn a lot by watching the show as it will enlighten his perception of what woman want, need and aspire to. If he crosses the line and start doing the ‘Oprah-Accent’ or say “Come on Y’all”…find something to do together during that segment on TV and watch the late night repeat by yourself.

Sports: Most women complain that their hubbies are sports fanatics and that they don’t spend nearly as much time with them, than what they do watching sports. So it is kind of funny when I hear ladies say they think their hubby is gay because he does not like sport … Oy Vey!! I really have empathy for straight men sometimes.

Hopefully this will put you more at ease with your man …and maybe start focusing on what he is doing right and not on how much moisturiser he uses.

Signs that he is Gay...

How do I know if he is Gay continues...


Underwear Models: It takes him hour deciding on which underwear to buy. The underwear model’s bulge seems to put him in some kind of hypnotic trance…and if he chooses the brand with the biggest Model-Bulge…he is a size queen as well.

Wedding: He insists in organising your wedding …and making your wedding dress himself...

Intimacy: You have to basically rape him to get any kind of intimacy from him. Accompanied by taking forever to get aroused …he is either gay …or he is getting “noekie” somewhere else.

BCM: No matter how sad and homo-stereotyping this is …it is unfortunately the truth. If he goes bananas over Barbara, Cher and Madonna (and knows the moves to Vogue) …chances that you are dating a pansy is very high.

Men-Only-Weekend: Now there is nothing wrong with going away with a bunch of mates. The problem comes in when he is going away for the weekend:
1) with men that you have never met before …and you probably never will
2) and in pictures you see him and his ‘friend’ in matching Speedos or T-shirts
3) …not sight of a single woman in the background …on any of the pictures should be a dead give away….

Gay TV-Scene: Do yourself a favour and go rent the American version of ‘Queer As Folk’ (QAF in short) – preferably Season 1. After the first homo-erotic sex scene (and believe me you won’t have to wait long) ask him to get you some snacks from the kitchen. If there is a party in his pants …well you have your answer then don’t you …

Vibrator & Shoes: While doing your annual spring cleaning you stumble onto this thing with a label that says “Giant Cock …batteries not included”. This would normally not be a problem…but it is not yours. Learn the phrase “DeNile is a river in Egypt”. The other thing is when his shoe fetish takes up 90% of the closet space ...that becomes a problem

Condoms & Lube: A selection of flavoured lube, multi-coloured condoms and a cock ring might excite some people …but not when you find it in his drawer and he has not used any of on you …ever …

Facebook: You realise that 80% of his friends on Facebook is guys with rippling bodies and no shirts. Gym buddies? I don’t think so …

The True Test: I put this one last as I think it is probably the most important one. His views on homosexuality and the way he treats gay men are a very good indication if there is ANY hidden agendas. ‘Straight’ men only find the need to shout homophobic slurs or make tasteless gay jokes if they:
1) need to cover up their inner queen who is banging on the closet door with a stiletto to be let out
2) really are attracted to men and it’s the only way they can suppress their feelings
3) see gay people as second class citizens who does not deserve the same rights as anybody else (in which you dump him anyway for being an asshole !!)

Good Luck Ladies !!

"Kom in Zero Bravo ..."

Citrus Lounge: CELEBRATION

CELEBRATIONIn celebration of Pride month and our winning float, plus the launch of MADONNA's CELEBRATION greatest hits CD/DVD

***

Start Time: Saturday, October 17, 2009 at 10:00pm

End Time: Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 4:00am

Location: Citrus LoungeStreet: 38 Rogers Road corner Webber Street Selby

City/Town: Johannesburg, South Africa

***

The underground polysexaul party crew are back with a special party to celebrate our winning the best float in the Joburg Pride Parade on October 3rd 2009...

ALL the people involved in, on, at, around, with, behind, in front and beside our CITRUS LOUNGE float at Pride '09 are invited, and you are all invited to bring your friends along and their friends and their friend's friends...

For this special bonus party, we move downstairs from the Props Wharehouse into the Lemon8 venue. The party starts at 10pm and goes on untill the early hours of Sunday!

Door charge is R 00.00, yes, thats right, FREE, GRATIS and MAHALA! But you are most welcome to make a donation at the door to go to the Joburg Pride board, as a little thank you for the great day at Pride '09.

They will also be launching MADONNA's new greatest hits album CELEBRATION, and have loads of limited edition CD's, t-shirts, posters, DVD's and more to give to the best dressed MADONNA's and MA'N'DONNA's, so get those outfits together!

HOT lineup including:

TINY T (Inamorata)

GROOVY Q (resident)

NICEDEVICE (returning guest)

DOCTOR STONE (Sound Republic)

RUSSELL LDQ (special guest)

plusVERNON JOEL (live PA)

SEE YOU ON SATURDAY !!!

Ek drink Fokol ...

2010 ...Durban Stadium is ready !!

Spoilt child ...

I would have been locked away for murder a loooong time ago ... lol

Zakumi ...coming out?

With the 2010 World Cup on our door step, I was wondering if the soccer frenzy has also spilled over into our gay community. I don’t want to generalise, but we all know the sport mostly watched by gay people are swimming, diving, gymnastics etc. Don’t get me wrong you do get the gay ‘groupies’ who like to braai while watching the rugby (biltong and koeksister included), or the ones that will skip a night of partying because there is some major F1 race the following day. But where does it leave Soccer…the reason for the 2010 World Cup happening in South Africa.

I must confess that I was never an avid follower of soccer – until I experienced the absolute adrenaline rush of being swooped up by a cheering crowd of 60 thousand soccer fans and what seemed like a million Vuvuzelas blaring during the Confed Cup that took place in June/July this year. I always thought that I would get irritated by the Vuvuzela noise …but I can honestly say that it had no impact on my enjoyment of the game (I will even go as far as to say it contributed to the enjoyment …and this is not because I went out and bought my own Vuvuzela and cant wait to use it again).

I really think that our mascot Zakumi will at the end help with getting more gay and lesbian people to support the 2010 Soccer World Cup and actually go and watch a match or two. The first two letters of Zakumi are the country's initials in Afrikaans and "Kumi" means 10 in many African languages representing the year of the tournament. Zakumi also joined the ranks of SA's born-free generation as he was accorded with the birth date of June 16 1994, meaning he will turn 16 in 2010.

As he tries to be representative of all the different ages, races, languages etc …I am sure he also would like to see a stronger gay following. If presented with a gay flag, tiara and maybe a gay mag or two – I am sure he will grab his Vuvuzela and strut his stuff on the field without a worry in the world. Whatever your opinion …you have to agree that he is adorable. I hope I get invited if he ever decides to have his Coming-Out-Party ….

Midweek Eye Candy

Boy Interupted: Voted runnner up for Best LGBTI Blog 2009

As they say rather late than never …but I am sure there is like a standard timeline of acceptable ‘lateness’ LOL.

I was actually informed by a friend that Boy Interupted was a runner up at the annual SA Blog Awards. He had to actually show me on his phone …as I though he was being sarcastic or provoking a reaction out of me. Ta-da!! There it was. This was not just an uber surprise, but also a very humbling discovery.
To everyone who follows my daily tidbits, and sometimes ranting and raving, I want to say a biiiiiig “Thank You”. Hopefully, with all your support of course, Boy Interupted is on that list again. Until then …happy reading.

Don't mess with Gran !!

He he he ...

The Secret Obsession!?

“Are you not GAY?” ….”Why are you obsessed with my BOOBS” ….
This is the background conversation that I picked up while at a birthday party on Friday (which was a healthy mix of straight and gay …really a fantastic bunch of people). With closer investigation I find a friend (who will stay anonymous due to the fear of victimization by the ‘Pink Mafia’) with a camera down a lady’s top …the only suggestion that pictures are being taken is the subtle light of the flash through the fitted white top.

With the glimmer of the flash pulsing through the air – giving a feeling like you on the red-carpet or something – the conversation progresses to why Gay men like to touch, feel, pinch (…take photos of…) straight woman’s boobies. A interesting question seeing that when I think back of my boobie-experiences …I can understand why it would seem strange to the hetro-fraternity. So I posed the question to some gay guys and categorized the possible answers as follow:
(Please take note these are my own conclusions and is not based on Dr Phill’s psycho-analysis mambo jumbo…if the boob-attraction persists …consult your doctor)

Woman like the attention
This is probably the most straight-forward answers (no PUN intended). Woman, like homosexual men, like attention. And what better way to get it, without having to sleep with the guy or by selling your ‘poenani’, than by letting a gay guy touch and caress them. It won’t lead to anything more …

You can’t miss them
Nice, obvious, Double-D, perky boobies (the ones that you think can actually succeed in getting emancipated so that they can vote and travel the world) are sometimes just to good to let them pass without making an attempt to at least touch them. You might not have a chance like this again to be in the vicinity of such impressive ‘sisters’.

It’s Art – Appreciate it
Male or female…any body part …. beautiful has never been ugly…lets just leave it at that.

Erection Restraint
Some gay guys, while in the near vicinity of a potential ‘I-Wanna-Have-Your-Children-Gorgeous-Guys’ will have a quick feel of the nearest females boobies. This is a quick-fix that helps to lower the blood flow to the “small-brain” region. So when you stand up (after secretly drooling at his gorgeous smile, tight derrière, or drown in the whiff of his cologne ….while picking out a wedding dress in your ‘8-second-fantasy-world’….all at the same time) you don’t look like a girl scout who is trying for gold in Tent Assembly. Although proven to work …try to limit your boobie touching to girlfriends you know …or get a good Medical Aid.

The Erection-Test
This is mostly for those confused moffies who sometimes just want to test if they are still gay.
Touch Boobie=Erection=Straight-ish (go see a counselor)
Touch Boobie=No Erection=Gay

The-Stare-Follow-Up-Conversation
I am sure we all have had the scenario where you are in deep though about whatever …but when you regain consciousness you realise that you were subconsciously gawking at this random chicks boobies. A conversation on how you and your boyfriend love each (even if you single) and how woman’s physique is not appreciated enough is a natural progression to save your own ass. Hopefully you not in Pofadder in some rugby bar after your car broke down on your way to the Pink Loerie Festival …Again I advise you to get a good Medical Aid.

I am actually a Lesbian in a Man’s Body …
We all have been fooled by this one. Ladies …beware…. Homosexual Men do not wear Check Shirts ….ever !!! (except when they playing on of the Village People characters in a porn sequel).

Because We Can
Maybe because women understand us better than anybody else on this earth…and the non-judgment clause (which works both ways) is something gays and ladies treasure on the same level.

Well with all of that said I am gonna end by saying: “We love you ladies …and your boobies!!”

PS: All the boobies in this article would like to stay Anonymous and was sp0nsored by "Near ....far....the Cross Your Heart Bra" :)

Condolences: Stephen Gately

While I was baking scones on Saturday morning (yes very domesticated I know), I heard the news that Stephen Gately (33) passed away. At first I thought it was a joke ...but then I visited my trusty old friend called 'Auntie Google' ...and to my dismay confirmed the report. Wow what a shocker.

As with all stars that die suddenly your first reaction is to asked "What happened" and "How did he/she die" ... To show how synical we have become as people the answers pop into your head like mushrooms ... "Suicide...drug OD...murdered by a lover...." etc.

Maybe we ask these questions to as to get our own closure in a way - not that we know them personally, but to selvage the momories we have that they have helped created. I can remember secretly dancing in my underwear and using my hairbrush as a mike...with Boyzone pulsing in the background (to my father's dismay lol). When it became "uncool" in gay circles to like boy bands we all went "underground" and listened to it secretively ...as none of us were actually ready to give up our 'airpunches' and 'synchronised dancing moves' just yet. Whatever your Boyzone story is, I am sure Stephen played a big part.

Not only was he an icon on stage but also part of our fantastic LGBTI Community - and for all you have done ....we salute you. Not just for the I am sure that you will agree with me on one thing - Stephen you will be missed. And in the words of ABBA ... "So we say Thanks You for the music, the song I'm singing...Thanks for all the joy they're bringing... "

Condolences to friends, family and Andrew Cowles (Stephen's Partner).

Stephen Gately (17 March 1976 – 10 October 2009)

Dishwasher ... Mmmm

Just to get you started ....

EGG-Scuse Me !!!

If you think setting up dominoes takes talent, take a look at this...

Bored at work?

Street Performing...its an Art

Sex Egg-ucation

What a guy !!