04 November 2009

Jozi Rainy Day Drama...Why Joburgers can't drive

Like paying taxes, traffic is one of those non-negotiable things that we all have to deal with on a daily basis. Similar to all Joburgers (and other urban dwellers) I also have to face the daily grind to earn my face cream and to support my shopping addiction.

Even though Joburgers have the ability to eat their lunch, talk on the cell phone (hopefully on hands-free), avoid smash-and-grabbers while throwing a zap-sign at the taxi driver that has just cut you of …all at once, they don’t have the aptitude to drive when a few drops of rain has fallen. Why is that?

I always thought that because of the population density of 3.9 million in Jozi (as per the 1997 census) that there should be more accidents than in other provinces…but even if you try to figure out the accident rate per million ….we exceed the benchmark when it starts to rain.

So here are some of the reasons I think Joburgers are unable to stay on the road when it is raining:
The multi-tasking culture while driving does not seem to stop when the heavens open
The irritation of sitting in traffic for hours gets to some people …and well “wie nie wil hoor nie moet voel”
Our Metro Police or JMPD are not interested in guiding traffic when gridlocked – but will rather sit and trap speeding cars (which does not exist when it is raining and the traffic is bumper-to-bumper - eish!!!)
When it rains half of Jozi robots go on strike … WTF ??!!
Joburger’s will still go over a robot 2-3 seconds after it turned amber …a clear recipe for disaster
Drainage in Jozi is poor in some parts due to blocked storm water drains…meaning that your car becomes a floating boat …which is OK if only you could steer it to where you wanted to go
Safe-following distance in Jozi is 30cm …allow more than that and some Evil Kanevil driver will push his 4x4 into that space …setting you back a few minutes in time

Waking up in the morning and hearing thunder outside is enough to let some people put in a day’s “sick” leave. But when you get home in one piece (or rather if you get home…) after a long day’s toil, rainy weather is the best dividend for that cuddle session and a glass of merlot…it is called BMW after all. So let it pour honey...let it pour.


Anonymous said...

This is so true !! Joburgers are the worst drivers - VIVA CAPE TOWN !

Anonymous said...

ROFL Cape Town drivers can't drive to save their lives ...even when it is not raining!!!

JoziDude said...

The story is about Joburgers and RAIN ... Cape Town drivers on Jozi roads ...NOW that is what causes accidents LOL :)