Underwear Models: It takes him hour deciding on which underwear to buy. The underwear model’s bulge seems to put him in some kind of hypnotic trance…and if he chooses the brand with the biggest Model-Bulge…he is a size queen as well.
Wedding: He insists in organising your wedding …and making your wedding dress himself...
Intimacy: You have to basically rape him to get any kind of intimacy from him. Accompanied by taking forever to get aroused …he is either gay …or he is getting “noekie” somewhere else.
BCM: No matter how sad and homo-stereotyping this is …it is unfortunately the truth. If he goes bananas over Barbara, Cher and Madonna (and knows the moves to Vogue) …chances that you are dating a pansy is very high.
Men-Only-Weekend: Now there is nothing wrong with going away with a bunch of mates. The problem comes in when he is going away for the weekend:
1) with men that you have never met before …and you probably never will
2) and in pictures you see him and his ‘friend’ in matching Speedos or T-shirts
3) …not sight of a single woman in the background …on any of the pictures should be a dead give away….
Gay TV-Scene: Do yourself a favour and go rent the American version of ‘Queer As Folk’ (QAF in short) – preferably Season 1. After the first homo-erotic sex scene (and believe me you won’t have to wait long) ask him to get you some snacks from the kitchen. If there is a party in his pants …well you have your answer then don’t you …
Vibrator & Shoes: While doing your annual spring cleaning you stumble onto this thing with a label that says “Giant Cock …batteries not included”. This would normally not be a problem…but it is not yours. Learn the phrase “DeNile is a river in Egypt”. The other thing is when his shoe fetish takes up 90% of the closet space ...that becomes a problem
Condoms & Lube: A selection of flavoured lube, multi-coloured condoms and a cock ring might excite some people …but not when you find it in his drawer and he has not used any of on you …ever …
Facebook: You realise that 80% of his friends on Facebook is guys with rippling bodies and no shirts. Gym buddies? I don’t think so …
The True Test: I put this one last as I think it is probably the most important one. His views on homosexuality and the way he treats gay men are a very good indication if there is ANY hidden agendas. ‘Straight’ men only find the need to shout homophobic slurs or make tasteless gay jokes if they:
1) need to cover up their inner queen who is banging on the closet door with a stiletto to be let out
2) really are attracted to men and it’s the only way they can suppress their feelings
3) see gay people as second class citizens who does not deserve the same rights as anybody else (in which you dump him anyway for being an asshole !!)
Good Luck Ladies !!